Another Year Over….

and what have I learned?

to let go of what I can not control….to be more assertive in what I believe….to not expect things that are out of reach….to relax and not obsess about what has not occurred.

what do I want to achieve in the up coming year?

to enjoy the time I  have to it’s fullest potential…..to stop saying later….to go out into the world and participate….to share myself with others and make a difference.

 what do I hope for the world?

an end to separation….no more bully politics….America’s image restored….the fall of tyrants…..the end of useless human suffering….the end of “God” being used to promote hatred….that the many will crush the few with radical ideologies….a cure to all that ills us.

I need Sun…………

OK, it’s been so frigging icky here lately.  there has been hardly any sunshine for roughly 2 weeks….if I wanted that kind of weather I would have moved to Seattle or London….feels like I’m suffering from lack of light….

I’m tired, cranky, and bitchy all day……it better break soon or I’ll go on a rampage….I wish I was the type that could just lay in bed all day, but I can’t, never could……….

Botox….My Savior

I went to the Neurologist today and got my Botox injections for my spasticity in my left arm and hand….I was so over due…..the tighter the arm gets….the harder it is to walk because it causes the leg/foot to tone up……the harder it is to speak, because it tenses up the left side of my neck as well….it’s all strangely connected….cause and affect.

 as soon as I left the office it feels looser….psychosomatic…perhaps….mind over body…maybe…but I think it’s the overwhelming feeling of relief…relief that I know my mobility and symptoms will get better….relief that my mood will stabilize a bit…just relief…

 speaking if my mood, my psychiatrist increased my Zoloft, not by much….he feels the slight increase will help get me to that happy content place…these are my words, not his…so far, so good.

so now we’re coming to year end….resolutions, no…I quit smoking a year ago…my weight is fine…I’m keeping up with my health….maybe next year more fun…….

Cold, Grey, and…….

I hate winter…..I need the sun to energize me….hate being cold….hate being stuck inside….

the Zoloft seemed to work in controlling my anger, rage……although I think I need an increase to reap the full benefit…..I guess the doctor was right…PTSD…

gave in and decorated for Christmas…..looks good…not too much….just enough…

I go for my botox injections in a week…I need them….my muscles are stiff and the cold doesn’t help either…..it also affects my moods as well….

we got a bit of snow today….not a fan….as I get older I can see why people move to warmer climates…….